We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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