He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have post one night stand depression
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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