Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
