The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Im part way to drunk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
