Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
