ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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