if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
