dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
