32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
is it fun? or sober?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize