return my video game
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
