Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
