haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
