Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
