Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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