Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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