that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
