you told grandpa to call you daddy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
being pregnant is like rehab
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
