i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
