the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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