he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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