is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
