my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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