Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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