I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
