Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize