Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's intense
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
