Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
