you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
