So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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