so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
