so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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