i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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