Kiss
Puke
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
