I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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