How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
