I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
