Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
