Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
