you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
