I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize