Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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