I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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