Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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