Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize