we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
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I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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