Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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