They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
