dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
