high people should be assigned attendants
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
