:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
