I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
