My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
