If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
