i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
