it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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