I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
