I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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