He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
