Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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