So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
