Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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