Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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